theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize