so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
