If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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