found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
