the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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