In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize