Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
