My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
