how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
