Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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