How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
