Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize