apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize