it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
