Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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