idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?