I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
