So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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