i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize