is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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