so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
