His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he fucked my hip out of place.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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