i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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