i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
