i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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