problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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