Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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