I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
