glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
