My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize