I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We're too hungover to prance.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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