He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You ruined the universe
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
