There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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