Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
