I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
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Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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