How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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