She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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