Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
