Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize