Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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