Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
