What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
