It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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