so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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