1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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