actually, I'm a sock model
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
