we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
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She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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