guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
