It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize