she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
