We're like a lot better than the average bears
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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