I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
