Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
