Porn is love you can see.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
