so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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