3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Non-Jews are for practice
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
