I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
