masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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