I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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