OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
